Helping kids avoid peer pressure
Peer Pressure:
At one point or another most of us have experienced some form of peer pressure.
To those of us who have experienced peer pressure, we realize what a strong
influence it can be. Peer pressure—it's more than just a phase that young
people go through. Whether it leads to pink hair or body piercing, peer pressure
is a powerful reality and many adults sometimes can forget its effects. It can
be a negative force in the lives of children and adolescents, often resulting
in negative outcomes for our kids whether it is cutting class, bullying or being
mean to another child, or sometimes even trying alcohol or illegal drugs. Many
parents often believe that their children do not value or listen to their opinions.
In reality, studies suggest that parents have tremendous influence over their
children, especially teenagers. Teach your child by your own good example. No
matter the age of their children, parents and caregivers should never feel helpless
about countering the negative effects of peer pressure. Here's what parents
and caregivers can do:
· Teach young people how to refuse offers for cigarettes, alcohol and
drugs. Making children comfortable with what they can say goes a long way. For
instance, shy children and adolescents might be more comfortable saying, "no
thanks," or "I have to go," while those who are more outgoing
might saying something like, "forget it!" or "no way!" No
matter what approach parents choose, it is important for them to role-play peer-pressure
situations with their children.
· Talk to young people about how to avoid undesirable situations or people
who break the rules. Children and adolescents who are not in situations where
they feel pressure to do negative actions are far less likely to do them. Likewise,
those who choose friends who do not smoke, drink, use drugs, steal, and lie
to their parents are far less likely to do these things as well.
· Remind children that there is strength in numbers. When young people
can anticipate stressful peer pressure situations, it might be helpful if they
bring friends for support.
· Let young people know that it is okay to seek an adult's advice. While
it would be ideal if children sought the advice of their parents, other trusted
adults can usually help them avoid most difficult situations, such as offers
to smoke, drink, or use drugs.
· Nurture strong self-esteem. Strong self-esteem helps children and adolescents make decisions and follow them, even if their friends do not think some choices are "cool." Some ways parents can do this include being generous with praise, teaching children how to perceive themselves in positive ways, and avoiding criticism of children that takes the form of ridicule or shame.